She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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