i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
