Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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