I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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