Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
