did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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