I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
