i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
