Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize