It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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