Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
