Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
