the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
