do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wish my penis had a tongue
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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