STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
