What a fucking waste of an outfit
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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