Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
