I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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