please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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