You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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