Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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