K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
