i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize