I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
