Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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