Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
