I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
