I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
