You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
