i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
