How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
