Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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