remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
