The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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