This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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