We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
