I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
