Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
