I accidentally had phone sex last night
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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