ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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