I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
