on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
is it fun? or sober?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
