Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Randomize
