I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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