The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize