dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
