You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
