I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
