Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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