what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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