We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
