Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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