Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize