you traded sex for a burrito?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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