bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
