I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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