It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
