Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just gargled with NyQuil
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
