did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
