At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
