Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
ttyl tear gas
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
