it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
