um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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